Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Need some Motivation?

Today I stumbled upon this video on facebook. I was supposed to be studying for my Biology test for Wednesday. I mean... with all the modern technology, how do you NOT get distracted? 

It's funny how through such a useless site like facebook, that I was able to find such an amazing video that made me break down, and completely reanalyze my life. 
Everyday, I live life almost carelessly. It's not everyday where I wake up thinking I'm going to die tomorrow because I have a life-threatening disease. I live an amazing life, I go to college, I have a wonderful family. I am blessed that both my parents are still together and I have a healthy, crazy, little sister. 
I have all the extras pleasures in life: computer, ipod, gaming consoles, deserts, treats... Isn't it funny with everything we're blessed with, we still compare ourselves to others? We always want more than the other person. We're always comparing ourselves to others because of money or looks, when none of that ever mattered. So why do we do it?

Humans thrive off of competitions. From salary, appearance, house size, nails... anything.

I feel like an idiot living life not grateful. Not even that, because I am grateful for my opportunities in life, but the fact that I am not grateful enough. There's so much to be proud of, and so many reasons to work my ass off. It's not about what I don't have, it's about all I do have. It's not about how I look, but how I treat and respect others. Beauty is on the inside. Life is about living! 

Clouds by Zach

(Picture taken by Annie Feng)
(Picture taken by Annie Feng)

Discovering my Vitiligo - The Story, Emotions, and Motivation

This is all about the month/year I discovered my vitiligo. I actually "noticed" my vitiligo during Freshman year during Marching Band in High School. I probably had it before then, but I never really noticed. If you were ever in Marching Band, you know you spend a LOT of time outside. We had training camp for 2 weeks in the summer (in the middle of brutal sun season!)... I played the French Horn, so while holding my instrument up, I noticed that the tips of my finger never got tanned. Ignore the ignorance: but I knew black people's palms never got tanned... so I thought it was just a trait that dark people had... that it was normal... Now I got REALLY dark during summer... and I was young. So...

It was during Tufts Pre-Veterinary Camp that I really started to worry about it because it was becoming obvious. The Vet Camp was a 2 week sleep-away camp, and one morning while getting ready, I saw a giant pink patch right next to my left eye (size of a nickel). It stayed pink for about 2 days before it turned completely white. 

Now I had to finish my camp (it was very expensive), so it wasn't until I came back home to Jersey that I told my mom and we were able to schedule an appointment at the Dermatologist (who by the way was really creepy and kept rubbing up against me and breathing on me *shudder*, as you can guess, I never ever went back to him). 

When he finally finished the "examination", he went into another room to come back in 5 minutes to tell me it was vitiligo, and that not much can be done. He said no cause, no treatment, no reason, and he basically just told me I had to suck it up. I didn't care much at this point, the patch around my eye didn't bother me. It made me sad when he said it can get worse, and a slight chance that it gets better. 

I was perfectly fine when he told me. I really was. I didn't care, I wasn't worried, I didn't really think it would change me in any way, and it didn't really... It was on the ride home that out of nowhere I made my mom drive me to CVS so I can buy myself some makeup. I had a 6-year old tantrum out of nowhere. I got all upset and started saying now I'm going to be so ugly, I'll look like a raccoon/panda, and that my life was ruined. I don't know what happened to me. 

It's about 4 years later, and it did get worse, but I am perfectly fine. I won't really leave the house w/out makeup, and even with makeup on, I feel a little insecure as if people are staring at my eyes. Vitiligo has made me stronger and weaker. 

I feel stronger emotionally because I feel grateful I don't have any deadly/life-threatening illness. I have very supportive family and friends. Also, when you find someone that loves you, if they love the pure you, you know it's true love. I am also way more understanding and find myself relating to struggles of other people, whether it's from their insecurity of their body shape, skin, anything. 

I feel weaker emotionally because it does take a toll on my self-consciousness and confidence. I am a girl; my mind is influenced by the "appearance perfection-oriented media world" we live in. I also find myself a little "cold" towards strangers. I also find myself not trusting people when they do compliment me on my appearance. 

But whatever the struggle, I am alive and holding strong. I am working on my flaws. 

Vitiligo is my body art. ;)

Here are pics of my vitiligo: 

You can't see the ones on my hand THAT well, because my skin tone is pretty fair. 

My lips are pink because it's completely vitiligo... But people can't tell. You can see it on the bottom of my lips; the skin around my lips is white. 


How to: Care for a Betta Fish



     If you read my blog you can guess I attend college. I have the typical college life. I live with 3 other girls in a "suite." My chest tightens even calling it a "suite" because there are so many issues with it, and none of the comfort associated with the term (anyways off topic).

     I wrote this for "real" people like my roommate, who owns a betta fish in her room. I have taken over the duty of taking care of it because of the lack of care, and just because I love fish/pets.

     Let me tell you a story... she loves fish/marine life. She is so passionate about underwater life that she will not eat anything that touches/live near/under the water (fish, duck, clams, crabs, etc). She has fish at home (which her parents care for), so she decides to purchase a betta. She has most of the things, a small 2 Gallon tank, pebbles, live plants, but she doesn't have a heater or a filter. Not a big deal. But there's a downfall to her true passion. She doesn't actually care for taking care of the fish. The water was left unchanged for months, the fish goes without food for weeks, and no heater for the cold winter days. These issues accumulating started to create a lot of issues - the betta (his name is Pablo) started to get fin rot and fungal buildup around the face (yes the face!).

     By the time I took him in was too late. Eventually the fungal issues killed the fish. I think even his eyeballs turned gray and little fungal strands floated around his face. At least he died in clean water.

     Back to defining "real", I mean the everyday people. Like a student, or just a normal worker. Someone who doesn't want to go out of the way for something exuberant or doesn't have the money to provide a fish the luxury of a glamoured tank.

     But back to the "real" people talk, I know people will not listen even after reading this, if you don't want to care for a pet, a living thing, or anything, just don't bother yourself with the hassle of getting it! Why spend $20-30 for a dead fish in a few months? Go buy yourself a bottle of vodka, some weed... a few books.

NOTE: Betta fish is one of the MOST sturdy and easy care for fish, but they still need a few essential "necessities" to survive.

     And do not argue with me. YES, they will 'survive' if they don't have everything. I can argue with you and say you can keep a baby alive only feeding him/her once a day... A baby will survive if you don't change his/her diaper every time he/she dirties him/herself. And there are parents who DO treat their babies in that situation (parents who don't deserve to be parents... off topic again)
     Now you might argue with me, "It's a BABY."
     And I'll say "Exactly the same. They all have needs. Except a baby will tell you she is not full filled and hungry in this case. Do you expect the fish to just tell you? You need the knowledge to just understand."

I'm not trying to be a prick, but if you know you don't have the efforts to clean the tank, do basic maintenance, do yourself and the fish a favor, ok?

Now if you have already realized this... read on young grasshopper.

MIN requirements:
1. At least 1.5 Gallon Tank with a LID (Betta's have a tendency of jumping out of their tanks)
        - The bigger the tank (with filter) the less often you have to do water changes! (hint hint)
2. Heater for tanks 5 G and more!
        - For a tiny tank, temp control is too difficult and you can roast your fish.
3. Low stream filter
         - Especially for Veil Tail/Rose/Half-Moons/etc Bettas I notice they're not very good
           swimming and a strong current pushes them around
         - A regular filter is great for female Bettas or Plakats and Crowntails
4. Good quality food
          - I highly recommend the Hikari Pellets

Just so you know... All that cost me $120 (Look on Amazon for great deals)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are the DO's and DON'T for a tank:
 NO

 
YES of course! If you have nothing else to do with $100-125.

arrangement-spray-rose-betta-fish-candles 
NO. Way too small!

  
YES!
  
It's decent... ish
 
Yes! Missing a heater though! 
Ehhhh... How do you even change the water....

 
Yes!! (What I have for my tank)

Does and Don't in a Relationship - Mostly Common Sense...

Now, you're going to think this is all common sense... but most people still don't follow it! 
  1. Don't compare your boyfriend/girlfriend to your ex... 
    1. You'd think this is common sense but it happens all the time! 
  2. Don't go straight into a relationship, date each other for a few months before you decide! If someone does something obnoxious or has an annoying habit that you hate, you can discover it earlier, and realize if he/she is really right for you/fix the issue. A relationship is serious and you don't want to break up over something stupid.
  3. Keep a positive attitude. Always motivate each other and ALWAYS inspire each other to do better.
  4. Don't stay cooped in the room. Go take a walk! Go for a car ride, blast some music!!! Keeping yourself locked indoors increases your chances of getting into an argument (I can't explain to you why... but it's true). You're always in a better mood outside. That Vitamin D makes ya happy. And if it's cold outside, just an excuse to cuddle together. 
  5. Being a bitch doesn't always get you what you want... I swear
  6. Girls: if you're mad about something, straight up tell the guy. I know we like to play games where we expect the guy to know what we want.... they'll never figure it out. 
  1. If you guys decide to go out, and it involves money (food, movies, etc.), agree to who's paying ahead of time. Be honest. If he/she says to split half/half, and you don't think that's "fair", just say "hey, how about this time, you pay for both of us, and next time I'll pay for both of us." You don't want to hold a grudge or miss out on having a good time because you're being a materialistic bitch (sorry, not sorry). 
  2. Go on a date at least once every 2-3 weeks. This means go OUTSIDE.
    1. Any restaurant/cafe - grab coffee, hot chocolate, bagels... anything!
    2. Drive to a park, take a stroll
    3. Look up car shows/reptile shows/dog shows
    4. MOVIE
    5. Go food shopping! 
    6. Go walk your dog/cat/ferret together
    7. Car rides!!! 
  3. Don't purposely annoy each other (touching his face if you know he doesn't like it, touching her face when she just spent 4 hours doing her makeup, etc)... I know you do this. 
  4. If you're sad... and you don't want to talk, tell him/her you need some time alone. Don't ignore them. And also don't play the game where you tell him you don't want to talk, but in actuality you do. Example where some girls play the silent game trying to find out if their boyfriend will argue to see if you really care. Girls... you know what I mean. Boys, you probably experienced this already.
  5. Girls: Don't ask him if you look nice, and then make a big deal on how you think "he's just being nice" and lying to you. If you're not even going to believe his answer, just don't even ask. It'll make you feel worse and it'll just annoy him. Or second scenario, his answer isn't "good enough". 
  6. If you're outside together, enjoy being outside. Don't stalk him/her just to see if he/she is staring at someone else. If you're that paranoid, you probably shouldn't even be together. 
  7. If you've only been dating for less than a year or so... DON'T TALK ABOUT KIDS... Like, WHY?!
  8. Don't STALK each other's social media/hack into their account/phone etc. Give each other personal space and privacy. If you have doubts, ask! 
  9. Don't just "talk" to each other, communicate!
  10. Find common ground - hobbies, classes, books, music, etc
  11. Be NICE to each other! Be considerate of each other
  12. Don't be materialistic. Stop expecting lavish gifts every holiday... he ain't gonna afford you a LV bag or Cartier watch every holiday unless he's a drug dealer or Trump's son. 




Wednesday, October 22, 2014

How do you live a "GOOD" life? Thoughts of a depressing college student...

     I think everybody on this planet, okay let's not generalize... maybe not everybody, but it's a common goal to live a GOOD life. That is just common sense right? But HOW do you do that? How do you achieve that "good" life?


     And I am talking about GOOD as in satisfactory. I am not going to include factors such as emotional issues or natural disasters. I am not going to predict your love life, and I do not plan to become a weather forecaster. Mother nature will screw us over once in a while, our hearts will betray us, but this is about the parts of life we can control.

AND pretending the job industry is good "enough" that you can find a job. Not including job industry/market crashes. And this is not for people working in safety/protection workers like firemen/policemen/etc (because they have additional "risk" factors in their work).

There are quite a few alternatives/lucky chances you already have your life set out for you:
  • You come from a wealthy family. 
    • This can only guarantee YOU a good life if:
      • Your family doesn't do anything to screw with the law
      • They don't go on some shopping spree and go bankrupt 
      • They love you and hope to pass the money on to you, if they remember to put you in their will
      • And once YOU receive the money, you don't spend it all recklessly (but if your parents are wealthy and nice, they'll just supply you with more... hopefully)
    • If the above rules do not apply to you, and you just happen to have a wealthy family, the best you can do is enjoy the luxury until your parents kick you out, and then you fall into one of the categories down below 
  • You marry someone wealthy
    • This will guarantee you a "good" life if:
      • They love you/trust you/want to spoil you and is willing to share their money with you
      • Your spouse follows the law/not a drug dealer (additional risks/benefits)
      • They don't go on some shopping spree and go bankrupt 
    • But for some reason something happens and it doesn't work
      • You realize they're some money rich scumbag and cheat on you and you get a divorce (which you might get some money, especially if you win custody of a child, to keep you satisfied for a long time. But if you get screwed over, you fall into the next few categories)
  • You win the lottery
    • This will guarantee you a good life if:
      • You don't go on some shopping spree and end up with NADA again
      • You get robbed
      • The government tricks you
      • You don't break the law/do something stupid that will cost you a lot of money
    • But pretend you did mess up... and did exactly what you shouldn't have done, and once again, you drop into a unfortunate category...

(Image from Google Images)

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(Image from Google Images)

Now this is where it gets tricky. I am trying to divide the "average people" or the people that do not fall into the categories above. And just saying for EXAMPLE that somewhere in your life you don't get the lucky break and you do not belong in the "fortunate category." Just bear with me here...

AND you don't do anything stupid that will perhaps veer you off course 
  • Let's say you're a student deciding how to make your life great for yourself, and you don't apply to the fortunate situations above, and once again, there are subcategories below them too! 
  • Now being honest... as a student myself I have no idea at all what my future looks like. I can't even decide what to eat. So this is all theoretical. 
  • You are... 
    • Are a brilliant student:
      • Success: 
        • You show you're intelligence in school, you put yourself out there to people (networking skills) and you get an amazing job -> leads to success (theoretical) 
        • You show you're intelligence and you are also independent. You start your company and succeed. YAY. 
      • Failure:
        • You're a genius, but you're lazy and you don't do well in society 
        • You're intelligent but you're very shy and quiet... you don't stand out enough to prove yourself at an interview or start your own company. You're just hidden talent doing a mediocre job
    • Are an average student (this is where I fall)
      • Success:
        • You work your ass off and prove yourself in a job and wait for a promotion 
        • You work your ass off and save your money little by little, purchasing whatever you want along the way and maybe in 30-50 years you can retire (I will make a new post on this alone)
        • You gather some guts and start a company (and G-d blesses you it becomes successful)
        • You work your ass off, earn  your money, and eventually retire
      • Failure:
        • You drop out of school and is not lucky enough to find a job where they will accept your w/out your degree
        • You become lazy and don't care about working...
    • You don't have education, nothing
      • Success:
        • You work a normal job like pizza delivery, cashier, etc - you save your money and manage to buy yourself the life necessities 
        • You save your money and you start your own business -> then becomes a success (like many famous successful drop-outs! Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook co-founder), Bill Gates (Microsoft), Steve Jobs (apple), etc)
      • Failure:
        • You just don't do anything. 
In the event that you are a normal student, and you go to school (let's pretend you're me). You have to pay for your tuition and your fees along the way. You graduate at the age of 22-24 (not including Masters/PhD.). Pretend you don't have a job during college, which means you don't start saving money until 22-24 years old (and you're not blessed with any property/money when you do graduate). And you have to work for another 20-50 years before you can retire...

So you're asking me where's the "good" in life? This is where you just have to break some nights, have some fun at some clubs over the weekend, maybe take a week off vacation with some well deserved break. That's probably all the "good" life most people will get.

SOOO really, just live your life while you're young! Save what you can, LEARN TO SAVE, learn to enjoy life, love, give yourself a well deserved break once in a while, and just LIVE. Because most people (like me) are just going to have a mediocre life anyways, but we can all make it special somehow. ;)

Aren't you so happy you read that far for such a simple conclusion. Ha. Now enjoy the nice pictures below. x)

(Image from Google Images)

(Images from Google Images)

(Images from Google Images)